Some Famous and Funny Irish Quotes

The thing about funny Irish quotes is that the can be as inciteful as they are witty. As George Bernard Shaw said 'When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.' Some of the quotes below score on two levels, leaving you with a real feeling of 'I wish I had said that'.

 

I include the famous and not so famous quotes and I attribute them if I know who said them. I have had to create separate pages for the funny quote masters such as Oscar Wilde, Spike Milligan and Flann O Brien. Enjoy.

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"In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol
- it was the worst 20 minutes of my life."
soccer player George Best
-photo courtesy of fraser p

Other Funny Quotes Pages
Spike Milligan Quotes
Flann O Brien Quotes
Brendan Behan Quotes
George Bernard Shaw Quotes
Oscar Wilde Quotes

Funny Irish Quotes -General

God is good to the Irish, but no one else is; not even the Irish.
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The Irish are a very fair people, they never speak well of one another.
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Shut your mouth and eat your dinner.
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Sean O Casey

Money does not make you happy but it quiets the nerves
(playwright Sean O Casey)
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Rain is also very difficult to film, particularly in Ireland because it's quite fine, so fine that the Irish don't even acknowledge that it exists.
(British Movie Director Alan Parker)
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You know it's summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer.
(comedian- Hal Roach)
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The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet.
(Oliver Herford)
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Those who drink to forget, please pay in advance
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The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad. For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad.
(writer G K Chesterton)
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It's my rule never to lose me temper till it would be detrimental to keep it.
(O Casey again)
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The world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed
(O Casey again)
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Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse.
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I have my faults, but changing my tune is not one of them.
(playwright Samuel Beckett)
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Only Irish coffee provides all main essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.
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What's the use of being Irish if the world doesn't break your heart ?
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There's no reason to bring religion into it. I think we ought to have as great a regard for religion as we can, so as to keep it out of as many things as possible.
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He was a bold man that first ate an oyster.
(author- Johnathon Swift)
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Any Kerryman will tell you that there are only two Kingdoms: the Kingdom of God and the Kingdom of Kerry - "One is not of this world and the other is out of this world.
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I used to go missing a lot... Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World.
(soccer player George Best)
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In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life.
(again George Best)
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Here's to our wives and girlfriends: May they never meet!
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I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.
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I once read about the evils of drink, so I gave up reading.
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I spent a lot of good money on drink, women and cars, the rest I just squandered
(soccer player George Best)
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I don't consider myself a heavy drinker, I often go hours without touching a drop.
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Drinking gives one a very clear sense of who's to blame for everything.
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An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!"
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God invented whiskey to keep the Irish from ruling the world.
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Irish Alzheimer's -you forget everything except the grudges.
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Pages Related to Funny Irish Quotes

Other Famous and Funny Irish Quotes Pages from Irish Literary Greats
Spike Milligan Quotes
Flann O Brien Quotes
Brendan Behan Quotes
Oscar Wilde Quotes
George Bernard Shaw Quotes

Also check out our Funny Irish Sayings page.

More funny quotes about life from our friends at funny-quotes-life.com